# Don't Lie About Your Handicap



## Golfbum (Oct 14, 2006)

If this were true I know some guys who would not make it past the 10th hole !

Subject: Golf Humor 


A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free 
day and wanted to play a round of golf. He was directed to a golf 
course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the 
course and asked the pro if he could get on. 


"Sure," said the Pro, "What's your handicap?" 


Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to 
cut it a bit. "Well, its 16," said the businessman, "But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?" 


"It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a 
caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro, "his handicap is 16." 


The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his 
handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle; 
again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no questions. 


They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. "Please avoid those trees on the 
left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his 
ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out 
when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead 
from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the 
rifle smoking in his hand. "That's the mamba, the most 
poisonous snake in all Africa. You're lucky I was here with you." 


After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par 5. 


"Avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of course, the 
businessman's ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up 
his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once more and a 
huge lion fell dead at his feet. "I've saved your life again," said the caddy. 


The 3rd hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green. The 
businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to 
the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in 
the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the 
water and bit off much of his right leg. 


As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy 
with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly. "Why 
didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously. "I'm sorry, sir," said 
the caddy, "this is the 17th handicap hole, you don't get a shot here." 

That's why you never lie about your handicap.


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## wildwilly911 (Jan 27, 2007)

thats a good one


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## 373 (Jun 9, 2006)

That's priceless... and I actually haven't heard it before. I just emailed it to about 20 golfers I know!


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## 300Yards (Jan 23, 2007)

I don't get it...


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## 373 (Jun 9, 2006)

300Yards said:


> I don't get it...


Are you really serious?

Holes are rated as the hardest through the easiest on any course. Look for it as "Hdcp" on the scorecard. The hole listed as #1 is supposedly the hardest, through #18, supposedly the easiest. If you are playing a match and taking handicap into account, the handicap rating of the holes suggests where the higher handicap player would get shots taken off the score, or in the case of the joke, literal shots from a gun... a play on words for the sake of the joke.

To expand this, if I am a 6 handicap and you are a 10 handicap, to play even in a match, I would have to give you 4 shots. Depending how certain matches are played, (or how good a negotiator one is), you would get those 4 shots, 1 shot per hole, on the 4 hardest holes, or on holes rated #7 through #10. The negotiations can go either way.

Since the player lied about his handicap, saying 16 and not 18, he would get a shot on the 16 hardest holes but not those rated #17 and #18, the two easiest on the course. When he ran into trouble on the #17 handicap hole, he didn't get a shot.


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## 300Yards (Jan 23, 2007)

DennisM said:


> Are you really serious?


UH Sorry..but you know whenever you tell a joke to a group of people, theres always that one guy who says "I don't get it.", I was meerly portraying that... I got it, and it was funny!:laugh:


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## 373 (Jun 9, 2006)

300Yards said:


> UH Sorry..but you know whenever you tell a joke to a group of people, theres always that one guy who says "I don't get it.", I was meerly portraying that... I got it, and it was funny!:laugh:


Whew!!! We were worried about you for a minute!


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## Bobay1956 (Jan 18, 2007)

Unfortunately, most of the people I've known who have lied about their HCP gave a number higher than what is truly was. I ran across a guy from North Carolina who had 3 different cards with 3 different numbers. How can you trust someone like that, even on a $1 Nassau?


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