# Big Hobbit talking to his foursome



## broken tee (Jan 13, 2008)

Merchant of England, bogey no more;
I am not partial to infringe our play:
The enmity and discord which of late
Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your swing
To players of the green, our well-dealing countrymen,
Who wanting golfers to redeem their lives
Have seal'd his rigorous statutes with his sticks,
Excludes all pity from our threatening looks.
For, since the mortal and intestine jars
'Twixt thy seditious game and swing,
It hath in solemn synods been decreed
Both by the course and ourselves,
To admit no traffic to our adverse play Nay, more,
If any player at course be seen
At any golf shop marts and demonstrations;
Again: if any golfer born
Come to the bay of lost balls, he dies,
His goods confiscate to the brush dispose,
Unless a thousand marks be levied,
To quit the penalty and to ransom him.
Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,
Cannot amount unto a hundred marks;
Therefore by foul play thou art condemned to die.


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## 373 (Jun 9, 2006)

LOL

That's a big improvement on the golf poetry in a book I bought for my Kindle. The way it was advertised, it sounded like it was going to be humorous. Maybe it was to some golfer in the 17th century who understood what the hell they were talking about. To me, it sounded like some middle school student with a thesaurus trying to write love poems with the most flowery language he could find.


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## Big Hobbit (Nov 2, 2010)

BT, that would really go well with some rap music...

Failing that, book yourself in for some serious counselling


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## broken tee (Jan 13, 2008)

I Know, This why I come to this forum. Someone will surely tell me where to go, for help...I think.


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## Surtees (Sep 11, 2007)

I've told you where to go before and it wasn't to help you but help the rest of us!

But in saying that having you around makes the rest of us feel a little more normal!


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## broken tee (Jan 13, 2008)

Surtees said:


> I've told you where to go before and it wasn't to help you but help the rest of us!
> 
> But in saying that having you around makes the rest of us feel a little more normal!



:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: I'm in tears, this was great.


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## Big Hobbit (Nov 2, 2010)

Surtees said:


> I've told you where to go before and it wasn't to help you but help the rest of us!
> 
> But in saying that having you around makes the rest of us feel a little more normal!


LOL - :laugh: we got ourselves a pet BT..."Don't feed the BT."


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## broken tee (Jan 13, 2008)

Big Hobbit said:


> LOL - :laugh: we got ourselves a pet BT..."Don't feed the BT."


I don't have my glasses on; is that pet or pest?


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